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Author Topic: News of the Odd and Strange  (Read 3967 times)

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Offline Captain Marvel

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News of the Odd and Strange
« on: February 08, 2009, 10:17:11 PM »
Yes folks, it's once again time to start up the News of the Odd and Strange. I've been waiting for a worthy first-post story, and boy have I found a dozy. And without further ado, here it is:

'Vampire,' 44, threatened girl, 16, police say:

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/nation/story/053295CFD8C0431C86257554000890EF?OpenDocument

My favorite part is when she tried to break it off with him by telling the dumb schlub that she was "a member of an elite vampire hunter society and that continuing their relationship would put him in danger." LOL. Classic.




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Captain of the Thunder and the Lightning

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The man who knows everything, and never dies. - Voltaire

Offline Matt W.

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2009, 10:39:21 PM »
What a looney.
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I'll puke, eat it and freak you. Battle? I'm too weeded to speak to. The only key I see to defeat you would be for me to remove these two Adidas and beat you. Force feed you them both and on each feet is a cleet shoe.

"Fools taking up arms against omnipotence. They rush head-on into Armageddon. So I shall provide them with a most glorious doomsday! The heavens will run red with blood. But in the end, as always, THANOS will stand triumphant."

Formerly known as MATTEK

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Offline D.B. Byrd

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2009, 12:32:04 PM »
How do you have a relationship online?  Oh the day and age we live in.

Seriously, we should treat this wacko as a vampire.  Put him in a windowless cell, give him only blood to consume (preferably animal), and arm themselves with crosses.
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Offline Captain Marvel

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2009, 01:10:46 PM »
I was thinking we could stake him to the ground, cut off his head and stuff his mouth with Holy Wafers, just to see what happens.
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Captain of the Thunder and the Lightning

I represent forces that dwarf even your might. My authority comes from on high.

The man who knows everything, and never dies. - Voltaire

Offline D.B. Byrd

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2009, 01:45:03 PM »
Quote from: Captain Marvel on February 09, 2009, 01:10:46 PM
I was thinking we could stake him to the ground, cut off his head and stuff his mouth with Holy Wafers, just to see what happens.

Ah, but ya see, when it kills him there will be people who'll say

"see!  He was a vampire!  That killed him!" :sarcastic:
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"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Offline Captain Marvel

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2009, 05:15:00 PM »
And for our next entry:

Women try to have woman accused of affair deported:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090209/ap_on_fe_st/odd_vigilante_border_agents;_ylt=AqfmlynWQmjMiHLlSJwqGL7tiBIF

Cap's favorite part of the story: A Bellingham police spokesman, Lt. Steve Felmley, said the three women are being investigated for unlawful imprisonment. Felmley said, "I don't think this plan is working out the way they thought it would."

LOL. Hilarious.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2009, 05:17:37 PM by Captain Marvel »
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Captain of the Thunder and the Lightning

I represent forces that dwarf even your might. My authority comes from on high.

The man who knows everything, and never dies. - Voltaire

Offline Matt W.

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2009, 07:47:38 PM »
Holy shmokes!!! lol!!!
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I'll puke, eat it and freak you. Battle? I'm too weeded to speak to. The only key I see to defeat you would be for me to remove these two Adidas and beat you. Force feed you them both and on each feet is a cleet shoe.

"Fools taking up arms against omnipotence. They rush head-on into Armageddon. So I shall provide them with a most glorious doomsday! The heavens will run red with blood. But in the end, as always, THANOS will stand triumphant."

Formerly known as MATTEK

Matt.W@The-USH.com

Offline Captain Marvel

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Next Entry: A McNuggets "Emergency"
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2009, 06:57:25 PM »
LOL, this is classic. Some people really have no fucking clue as to how life works.

Floridian called 911 three times over McDonald's chicken shortage

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0303091mcnugget1.html

MARCH 3--Angered that her local McDonald's was out of Chicken McNuggets, a Florida woman called 911 three times to report the fast food "emergency." Latreasa Goodman, 27, last Saturday called police to complain that a cashier--citing a McDonald's all sales are final policy--would not give her a refund. [To listen to Goodman's 911 calls, click here, here, and here.] When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, "This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn't have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don't want one." Goodman noted, "I called 911 because I couldn't get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets," according to the below Fort Pierce Police Department report. That logic, however, did not keep cops from citing Goodman for misusing the 911 system. Even after being issued a misdemeanor citation, Goodman contended, "this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency." The McDonald's devotee is seen at right in a mug shot snapped after a previous encounter with police. Last month, a Florida man was arrested after he called 911 to complain about his displeasure with a Burger King combo meal.

Cap's favorite part of the story: Even after being issued a misdemeanor citation, Goodman contended, "this is an emergency, my McNuggets are an emergency."

 :girl_werewolf: :nono: :neo:
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Captain of the Thunder and the Lightning

I represent forces that dwarf even your might. My authority comes from on high.

The man who knows everything, and never dies. - Voltaire

Offline Dave Barton

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2009, 11:00:56 PM »
Ha!  That's wonderful.  No playing around with them nuggets, that's for sure.
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Offline Wolfwood

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2009, 11:41:44 PM »
http://news.aol.com/article/japanese-robot/383912?icid=200100397x1219454316x1201390933

Check out the pics of the Robot Lady (looks pretty real).  Now ask yourself this: Why are Japanese scientists so intent on creating robotic women?  They are home to the world's most lonliest businessmen...
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Offline Matt W.

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2009, 11:50:48 PM »
Dude I want one. If it doesn't nag and complain all the time....I'm sold.
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I'll puke, eat it and freak you. Battle? I'm too weeded to speak to. The only key I see to defeat you would be for me to remove these two Adidas and beat you. Force feed you them both and on each feet is a cleet shoe.

"Fools taking up arms against omnipotence. They rush head-on into Armageddon. So I shall provide them with a most glorious doomsday! The heavens will run red with blood. But in the end, as always, THANOS will stand triumphant."

Formerly known as MATTEK

Matt.W@The-USH.com

Offline D.B. Byrd

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2009, 12:31:14 PM »
This one's a bit racy:

http://minx.cc/?post=284146


Seriously, you thought that was a good idea????  Are you that bored with your sex life?  Jeez, try roleplaying or something!
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"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

Offline Matt W.

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #12 on: March 17, 2009, 05:58:22 PM »
 :sarcastic: I was just playin man. HAHAHA. My sex life is perfecto.
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I'll puke, eat it and freak you. Battle? I'm too weeded to speak to. The only key I see to defeat you would be for me to remove these two Adidas and beat you. Force feed you them both and on each feet is a cleet shoe.

"Fools taking up arms against omnipotence. They rush head-on into Armageddon. So I shall provide them with a most glorious doomsday! The heavens will run red with blood. But in the end, as always, THANOS will stand triumphant."

Formerly known as MATTEK

Matt.W@The-USH.com

Offline Wolfwood

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2009, 11:07:03 PM »
Holy crap!  That lady cut her genitalia with a ****** saw!?  What the hell were they thinking? 

Guy: "Don't worry honey, there's no way this razor sharp blade will cut through this *whatever type of sex toy it was*.  It's perfectly safe!  And sexy."

Lady: "...If you say so"

Retards.
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Come with us
To the water as we celebrate poolside
Silver lined sons and daughters
Take the big dive
Celebrate before rejection
Before this pool shows our reflection
Too well
Diamond impressions
Lay where we fell
Without discretion
All the questions they’ll ask
Were we raised this way?
Such a promising past
Mayday

Go down in glory
What did I tell you, I promised they’d take me too
Down with the heroes before me
What did I tell you, I promised I’d give you a story
Tell me a story

Too Late For Gods-AFI

Offline Wolfwood

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Re: News of the Odd and Strange
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2009, 12:47:49 AM »
http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/03/17/mother-of-down-s-syndrome-boy-helping-son-find-sex

A mother is trying to find someone to have sex with her son.  He's 21 (not that it matters, since it would be insane whatever is age was).  Times like these make me think that the human race if failing  :sarcastic:.
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Come with us
To the water as we celebrate poolside
Silver lined sons and daughters
Take the big dive
Celebrate before rejection
Before this pool shows our reflection
Too well
Diamond impressions
Lay where we fell
Without discretion
All the questions they’ll ask
Were we raised this way?
Such a promising past
Mayday

Go down in glory
What did I tell you, I promised they’d take me too
Down with the heroes before me
What did I tell you, I promised I’d give you a story
Tell me a story

Too Late For Gods-AFI
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